The World Is Mine.

I feel that my blog is about one thing over all others- how life changes and my interpretation (aka venting) of that. If it's one thing anyone knows about me is that I challenge the meaning of life only because I hate change, don't know why it happens yet still I can't live without change, no one can. Change brought me to this moment and without it I'd be nothing. If it's one thing anyone's taught me it's to Just Go With The Flow. Because no matter what, it's going to either flow with me or without me so I need to get with it. And most often I usually do. There are, however, moments of relapse when I look down from the 9th cloud and see what used to be me. It shows me how far a lot of people have fallen.

Facebook is nothing except a constant, almost DAILY reminder of who I was, how I am now, and who people turn into being. In a single word it is change.

-I see old friends still doing the same shit they've done since I met them, left them and then came back renounced. I miss the memories and innocence of that back then time but what I should remember is- now is better. I'm looked up to and I inspire. This is my dream. I have proven to be a diamond in the rough and someone who was able to push through, stand up and keep it moving with a strong 110% push. When they see me, I smile because in their eyes I have made it farther than most will even dare to dream.

-I see my main friends right beside me, a phone call away and forever changing. I'm living the life and they live it with me. They keep my head above water and push me through all the obstacles because they know what I want more than anything is to come out on top. They can be miles apart or a touch away, yet they should always know that I keep them close and anticipate to keep them here forever. I've found love in the people I'm with and removed hatred from my vocabulary and mind space. I've found some dahyi pori's that have kept me on a righteous path with a lot of room to have fun! They find curiosity in what makes me the way I am and I find curiosity in them. I try to extract a lesson from each of them that will help me grow into something better. And this is what I've become.

-I see new friends starting strong- graduating, getting married, and starting little family empires of their own which helps me shape the dreams of who I see myself being in the near future. I see them aspire to new heights and take on challenging tasks and jobs. Their schedules begin to conflict with mine and feels like forever since we've spoken but it just prepares us for the stage in life where it won't be EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT hanging around but now a weekly to monthly phone call. I see strange faces on the side bar of people that I'll probably meet at the next shin-dig and who may one day become an integral part of this life I lead. I see blank space that will be filled, making way for more change.

I have to log off sometime because it's straining both visually and mentally- all these faces, memories, and just SOCIAL THINGS going by. I can't grasp the concept that I once used to be surrounded by a certain aura of people and now those faces have all changed and day by day they continue to do the same thing. I've never had a set group of friends. Being a butterfly, it's kind of hard to. My best friends and I have become strangely CLOSER than ever and for that I Thank God, her and myself for holding it together. Close friends begin to drift and catch on with the space and we both begin to close the gap as well as take our friendship to the next level under the strain of busy lifestyles. I see past friendships go from appearing at the very top of the headlines to none existent and that's ok too. Oh you went to Paris? You got a divorce? Your dog died? Bachelorette Party in Vegas next weekend? Oh shit! I'm sure they think the same of me. But 'other people's lives and what they think' is not what this blog is about either.

This blog is about me. It's about me and my life. It's about Nikita finally owning up to the fact that I can't grab everyone I want and demand God create me a garden to let us all live and prosper there happily. No, because even that didn't work back in the B.C era. The world is always changing and I am never standing perfectly still. Nor would I want to. Change is good and it happens to everyone. Who I stand by and for will change depending on the way shit works out tomorrow. I just hope you're there to tough it out with me because if you're in this life of mine now, you can bet your bottom dollar I want you here forever. If not, you gotta keep it moving as unfortunate as that is to say, it is the 100. This is my life. I'm truly blessed.

Lastly I leave you with a quote, this time it's my own.

September 1st 2010: "Just arrived on my new campus; this world is mine for the taking."



And I have to remember that though people change, the weather, our wolfpack, my style, my slang, my relationships all may change- one thing is for certain always; I am living my dream and that dream is always changing, never ending, and going to take me where I'm supposed to be. This world is mine for the taking.
Hope you're enjoying the ride.