It's October

Abused. Baffled. Confused. Disgusted. Esoteric. Freak. Gaping. Heartless.

Idiotic. JinXed. Kink. Lustful MinX. Nonsensical. Obtuse. Promiscuous. Querulous. Rusted. Sorry. Tainted.UGLY. Vulnerable. Wretched, Xyz.

But the fault is my own.

It's October.

Days like this I need a hug. Just a hug; blinded by my faults & flaws, irrelevant of my problems and issues, tight so as to suffocate my brain into forgetting, strong enough to support me because I just wanna slink onto the floor, crawl under a rock & stay there for a while.

I feel cold. Drained. Alone.

How did I get here?

Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but then again it's October.

The days will grow dark like they did last year.

The symptoms of Schizo will become apparent.

Strange voices will become familiar again & tell me all the things I don't want to hear.

Nightmares will haunt.

The bones of the skeletons trapped in the closet will send sounds that shiver up my spine.

I'll try to tell them that I'm changed.

I'm going to have to come to grips with this.

October used to be my favorite month until I wrecked havoc on my body & signed away my soul.

I won't blow out the candle when I'm not supposed to this time.

I'll try to be selfless since I was given a second chance.

This year I realize there's more to live for than just to reach that light at the end of the tunnel.

Maybe that's why it seems so dark in here.

First days of October; the quite before the storm.

Please remember, that this too shall pass.