Adrenaline

Pre-Flight:

it's about ninety something degrees out here and I can feel the inside of my body heat up as adrenaline courses through my veins. I'm jumping out of a plane at 13,000 or so feet. I didn't have time to make a will so for now I suppose this will suffice. I'm jumping because it takes serious balls. Because I'm with my 3 best friends [who managed to hype this up enough for my ears to perk]. Because it's September & I started a new life for myself just last week in San Diego [and it seemed like a perfect way to let loose the tension]
if I die all of my money, which is not a whole hell of a lot should go into cancer research... Specifically not for anyone whose ever been a smoker. I'm sorry [maybe when Dad has it I'll change my mind]. It should go to help children who have no control. My organs should be first donated away to help whoever can take whatever they need. Apart from my liver and brain which are probably still soaked in alcohol. Everything else in my body should go to science.
to those I love, I love you. And th...[at is all.]

Post Jump:

Yea call me crazy but let's do it again? Next time we should definitely go higher. If it wasn't so expensive this would definitely be a hobby for us. Krishna had a great pre-birthday weekend. And i'm glad I was there to enjoy it with her. I can't believe how nervous I was as I saw those houses turn into little dots. I was tempted to ask who else had died from this very jump, at this location. How many people wound up with broken legs or in need of a defibrillator at the end. But the rush you feel during you're free fall is like no other rush you can feel in your life, not to mention the stress relief. I almost forgot that I had a bunch of Calc homework to do while I was up there coming back down to earth.

Reflect:

In the air, I feel weightless. Even when I'm flying to and from NorCal to SoCal I can feel the weight lift off my shoulders during take off and I feel like up there I'm as close to heaven as I'll ever get. I write with fluidity and produce my best work up there because my mind is light. I also get a great power nap (if there isn't a fussy baby sitting next to me throwing apple juice out of her sippy cup all over the seats) and the dreams I procure are....nevermind.

When I was signing up for the jump you read through the legal documents in fine print, giving up your writes with your two letter initials at any attempt to sue the company or instructor, about the fact that you're initials at the end of this sentence mean that it's ok if your chute doesn't open and you land face first on earth and die, because HEY, shit happens. The legality of it all make you wonder what your life is worth, what does it mean to just sign on the dotted line and say that Hey Mom & Dad, Thanks for paying x amount of dollars for my tuition, years worth of headache & fighting trying to talk me out of my crazy schemes, and the time it took to raise such a self-righteous woman because for this jump, just for the thrill of it, i'm gonna throw it all away.

Cancer & Diabetes, the people with their smiles, the pictures attached to great memories, the new beginnings in San Diego all hung in the air as my hand shook furiously & scrawled Nikita Patel just shy of the bold X and dotted line. I was definitely nervous that all of my life's work, the future dreams I had, the people I'd never get a chance to meet, the men and women I would one day raise from small neophytes... could possibly be over, cease to exist, never be in the next 5 minutes.

I know I'm not ready to die. I should have known that I was never ready. HE knows he's not ready to take me away. My work is unfinished.

My best friend gave me the best advice. He said each day's a gift and not a given right. Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind. And try to take the path less traveled by.That first step you take is the longest stride.
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late, could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last? Leave old pictures in the past, Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day... -Nickleback