damaged.

today i want to run some more.

i tried running but i guess i didn't go far enough.

i want to run further until i find the right arms. i want to run into them with an open mind and an open heart. i want to spill the beans on my mistakes, i want to cry over the spilled milk of my regrets, i want to slip and fall into someone i can trust with anything. someone whose ears will listen while my mouth screams out carnage. i want to have them know me for everything i am today, everything i stand for today, and remember me not as the monster that i was. i want to lean on someone who won't end up piercing me through the chest while i'm facing the other direction because today i can't stand, today i'm damaged. and today i'm in need. this doesn't happen to everyone. but today it's happening to me.

i don't know how i ended up on this road. if my mother knew she'd faint but everyone has a demon. everyone grows up, so i grew up. you see an all too familiar face, but i'm not her anymore, i'm me. i've fit perfectly into the shoes i was meant to fill and this city is too small for my feet to tread any longer. so i'm trying to run and i'm taking everything with me. it's the only way i'll be able to feel like im close to something real. only way i'll be comfortable besides myself.

"i want to find something I've wanted all along..."