525, 600 minutes.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. 525,600 moments so dear. How do you measure a year?

I've forgotten, remembered, gained, lost, won, given and received much this year and now it's time to reflect. 365 days ago I was different. And 365 days later I'm sitting here, completely changed. Reincarnated.

At midnight this moment passed like every other moment and 2009 was officially gone. Nothing but a memory that would soon fade away as more years would come and go. As many usually are on New Year's Eve, I was with tons of people- most of whom I knew. It was then that I began to ponder the intricately interesting ways of how life is, the mysterious ways in which it works and how things can change so drastically in a matter of minutes or days. Day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different.

People are winds- They collide from the furthest regions of the world and combine forces to create friendships. Each day the course changes just slightly and as you look back on your journey you realize how far a distance you've traveled and what you've left behind, either for better or worse. And the people I saw today showed me just how far my course through 2009 has gone and how great it has been. I saw my coworkers who have become like family to me through 2009. I've gained much respect from them and for them. I saw my friends who have supported me through the year and whom I have built a strong bond with that only continues to grow. I saw others whom I would look onto as mere acquaintances and saw nothing more than the gaps we've filled between each other and while I'm the type to reminisce the loss of a friend- today, I'm not going to bother. You're here because you want to be. You mend distance with conversation because you choose to, not because I'm holding a gun to your head. I've put the Colt 45 down and waiting for you to decide. You ask how I'm doing because you care about the response that you get. I'm not an obligation and if you want to be with me, then you would. It is that simple. I'm that simple.

Looking back on past blogs I realized I'm an angry girl trying to make everyone realize that we have lost a lot. In reality I've done nothing but gain it all in other aspects. We distanced and I cried about it because I thought you were the best i ever had. Now I realize that you just didn't make the cut and in doing so I've found others who have stuck around and become my very bests of everything. I'm the type that likes to please and keep everyone in the palm of my hand just as I seem to be the center of all attention. Now I realize that the center I was placed in isn't where I belong and I've found that those I can depend on through thick and thin can be counted on each of my fingers, all of which are full today.

I've come a long way through realization and there's many that are proud of me and of the woman I've become, slowly. The ones I need stay so close at heart that they're just within reach when I need them most-- even when and if they're millions of miles away. I've come a long way in 2009 and I've done the best that I can do- which is more than enough. Coming this far was the easy part. I've got a long way to go and many paths unfolding daily ahead of me. I'm not sure of where I'll end up because life is uncertain just the way it should be. I do know that it'll be great only because I strive for excellence and the petty things that bothered me in 2009 will cease to exist as I step into 2010 with my best foot forward and leave you behind in the foot print that is 2009.

So when you see me on the street, wave big and smile. Miss me like I thought I had missed you and come to grips with the same reality I'm beginning to understand now- I don't need you and you're doing just fine without me. I'm not Miss Popular. I'm not Queen of the World. I'm simply me and I'll be the one you'll always remember.

2009 had its great moments but ultimately, and in my mother's eyes, it was a bad year. Economic downfall had hit not only the country but the entire world, hard. We're still suffering from the aftershock and we'll take some time to recover and balance out our economy. For 2010 we look for change and hope and a better tomorrow for ourselves and our children. For now we'll still cherish the mishaps of yesterday, enjoy the moments of today, and create plenty of memories tomorrow.

In 2010, I'm a new me. So come and feast your eyes on the Nikita:reincarnate. I'm not the girl you once said I was or thought I'd be. I'm much better. So enjoy it.

If I see you at this year's end, great. If not, good riddance. I won't be back. Stick around, enjoy the ride because it'll be the greatest thrill of your life. I bet my bottom dollar on that.

This is my second chance at life-don't spoil it with negativity, don't ruin good moments on enemies, don't waste time on impatience, consume less, learn from the best & heal, in time, with lots of laughs and love. Cheers to 2010